


being used to harbour a dead cherub sure does suck

by tenkaede



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Feat. Meat Route Jade and That Poor Sixteen Year Old Jade, Implied Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde - Freeform, Intentional Jabs At The Epilogue, Jade Has Issues, epilogue compliant, no beta we die like men, only a little meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-02-28 19:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenkaede/pseuds/tenkaede
Summary: Contrary to the popular belief, being possessed does not make the owner of the body go to sleep.Jade finds a younger double of herself, in the same situation as her, but different all the same. (Jade is no stranger to uncomfortable conversations with a version of herself, but that doesn't mean she likes it.)





	being used to harbour a dead cherub sure does suck

You know a few things. You know that your body, your real body, is out there somewhere. You know that everyone’s going to make sure you’re okay (right?). You know that something is going awfully, terribly wrong. 

And you know that your body is being used as some kind of shell. Like a hermit crab! Except the crab is a cherub and the shell is you and something’s different because you’re fully conscious, just not awake. 

You’d call it lucid dreaming if you were sure that this is a dream. You pinch yourself to make sure. The sharp pain that comes next brings you to your conclusion. 

You can see nothing but yourself, darkness stretched as far as you can see. (You’re in your old Witch of Space outfit, too, and the texture of your long since abandoned attire feels strange.) There’s a surreal feeling to this entire thing, and as confused as your are, it makes you feel kinda safe? Your mind is clearer now than it’s been since you ended the game. 

You can’t float, and you can’t feel space. You do the only thing left that you can do. 

JADE: ummmmmmmmm

JADE: hello??? 

If this were really dramatic, you’d hear your voice echoing into the void. But there is no echo, and there is no answer. 

JADE: HELLO?????? 

You cup your hands around your mouth as you yell, but there’s still no answer to be heard. Suddenly, you feel very small, and very, very alone. Your stomach drops, and dread crawls its way through your entire body so suddenly that you almost gag. If you were sick right now, would it even matter? 

JADE: wow 

JADE: this kind of sucks! 

You don’t empty the contents of your stomach over the black ground, and you don’t say any more after that. You take two steps forward, and then some more, but there’s no indication that you’re even moving at all. 

You’d rather have your footsteps echo through the loneliness than be treated to the pure silence you’re given. (You don’t think the pounding of your blood in your keen doggy ears and the softness of your own breathing counts as noise. You’re used to being alone with that.) 

Someone wails, and you freeze. 

You feel your ears swivel towards the noise, but really, what the fuck? For a second, you think you must be getting control of your body back, and someone’s upset for some reason, but a sob reaches your ears. You don’t start to feel any different. 

JADE: … hello? 

It comes out quieter than you wanted, but you start slinking towards the noise without calling again. That’s definitely crying. Your mouth dips down hearing it. It doesn’t sound like anyone you know? Not that you’ve heard everyone cry, of course. 

Maybe it’s the cherub? (That doesn’t seem likely, but who else would it be?) 

It is not, in fact, the cherub. 

There is another Jade on the ground, hugging her knees. 

JADE: ummmm… 

JADE: are you ok? 

She startles and swings around at the sound of your voice, lips wobbling and ears twitching. You notice a few things at once. The first is how big her eyes are, and how full her cheeks are. This is a kid. Then you notice that her eyes are blank; not white like a ghost, but black like the void. 

She moves her hand down from her chest. There’s a hole right through the centre of the Space symbol. 

(JADE): *sob* *whimper* 

JADE: wait what? why are you blue? 

(JADE): wh 

(JADE): what? 

JADE: never mind 

JADE: are you ok? 

Jeez, you don’t like remembering what it was like to be a kid, but you have to make use of that knowledge now. You kneel down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, something you used to do with Davesprite. Before he blew up. 

(JADE): who………….. are you? 

JADE: uh 

(JADE): i mean i know who you are but 

(JADE): *hiccup* 

(JADE): why are you so old :( 

JADE: old??! 

You inhale. This is just a kid, even if it’s you. You have to be super super lenient. 

JADE: im not that old 

JADE: how old are you? 

(JADE): sixteen 

(JADE): *sniff* 

Ok. That’s super young. This girl is going to take all of your pity. 

JADE: sixteen? 

JADE: are you still in the game? 

(JADE): yes

(JADE): no?

 

(JADE): not anymore 

JADE: what do you mean? 

(JADE): everyone else is 

(JADE): is 

JADE: is what? 

(JADE): DEAD!!!!!!!!!!! 

She breaks out into violent sobs (you could’ve sworn you could hide your tears better than this when you were sixteen) and clutches your hand. Your ignore the flashbacks to a certain conversation with a sprite you had when you were thirteen and try to ignore how sticky little Jade’s hand is from snot. 

JADE: hey hey hey sh sh sh 

JADE: its calm down time okay? (jeez) 

Kid or not, you don’t like seeing a version of yourself being this hysterical. 

JADE: deep breaths baby jade 

JADE: breathe iiiiiin and ooooout 

JADE: what happened to you? 

(JADE): well i 

(JADE): where do i start?? 

JADE: wherever you want? i mean not from the very start obviously because i already went through the game 

(JADE): i think 

(JADE): i should start where our timelines are different probably? 

JADE: do you know where its different? 

(JADE): i dont know did you have an adult john come into your timeline? 

JADE: adult john? 

The realisation hits you like a train. On steroids. Carrying the beefiest wrestlers in the world. (Wow you’ve listened to Dave too much.) 

JADE: john!!!!! 

(JADE): huh? 

JADE: oh i think the john youre talking about is my john! he had to go on a quest to defeat lord english 

(JADE): oh it sounds like its your john then! Because thats what we had to do! 

JADE: fight lord english? 

(JADE): yes! :) 

(JADE): except it didnt go well ;( 

JADE: what happened? 

(JADE): well first we fought kid version of him at it was all going ok 

(JADE): but then me and dave and rose and john got put into a juju 

JADE: oh?? 

JADE: OH!! 

JADE: sorry you were being carried around by vriska for a while i think 

(JADE): vriska? 

(JADE): oh her

(JADE): she was dead in my timeline? 

JADE: really? 

(JADE): yeah 

She looks like she’s about to start crying again, so you reach out and scratch her ears the way you both like it. 

JADE: keep going 

(JADE): … :’) 

(JADE): we were in there for a long time 

(JADE): and then suddenly we werent 

(JADE): and then lord english was there 

JADE: oh shit! 

(JADE): yep! we had to fight him again 

(JADE): and then rose died 

JADE: oh 

(JADE): and then i got impaled 

JADE: ohh 

(JADE): and then i was here 

JADE: did you see vriska? 

(JADE): no i was too busy trying to shoot the big green death demon! 

(JADE): i dont think i know what she looks like anyway 

JADE: ok thats fair enough 

JADE: what about john? 

(JADE): i think hes dead

(JADE): and i think daves dead too 

JADE: oh 

Her words hit you in the face but they don’t make you cry. The possibility that John is dead makes you feel nothing but empty. 

JADE: i can undertand why youre upset you poor thing 

(JADE): *sniff* *sniff* 

(JADE): *sniiiiiiiiff* 

You think she’s about to start crying again. So what do you do now? What would cheer her up the most? You answer your own question by leaning in to her trembling body and giving her a nice, tight hug. There’s a second of silence, and maybe you’ve fucked up, but then she clutches at your god tier jammies with hesitant hands. 

(JADE): at least now i have a purpose :( 

JADE: huh? 

(JADE): i mean i know the cherub is using my body 

(JADE): for stuff 

(JADE): thats going to help 

JADE: i guess 

JADE: but shes using me too 

(JADE): O_O

(JADE): and helping your friends? 

JADE: i guess? i mean i HOPE so 

JADE: it would kind of suck if someone evil was taking over my body before i even get to date dave and karkat 

She pulls away from you with cheeks flushed from crying and a look of pure disbelief on her face. 

(JADE): ummmmmmmmmmm what the fuck >:0 

JADE: what? 

JADE: its ok polyamory is something youll understand when you get older 

(JADE): what! no i dont care if you want to date two people i just care that you want to date dave AND karkat???? those two???? out of everyone??? 

JADE: hey dont sass me youre like thirteen! i know what i want 

(JADE): but theyre both so dumb! are you sure you want to date THEM when 

(JADE): you know 

JADE: ? 

(JADE): rose is right there >:/ 

(JADE): im just saying i think shes gay and i know were not boy only so 

JADE: rose is married 

(JADE): what! 

JADE: to kanaya 

(JADE): omg! :D 

JADE: but you know our life 

JADE: lives? 

JADE: have always been mostly about these two so i dont see how it should stop now 

(JADE): the way you talk makes it seem like you dont really want to date them so :/ 

JADE: i mean im SUPPOSED to 

(JADE): why? 

JADE: i just am!! 

(JADE): ok theres no need to get angry at me im just saying 

(JADE): i dont get how youre supposed to 

JADE: ughh 

JADE: youll get it sometime 

JADE: im just supposed to ok 

JADE: i feel it 

JADE: didnt you? 

(JADE): i mean i dated davesprite 

(JADE): but in hindsight i dont think it was the best :( 

(JADE): he stopped needing me 

(JADE): do you really actually want to date them? 

JADE: YES!!!!! 

(JADE): woah! 

JADE: why arent you listening to me? 

JADE: i forgot how dumb i used to be 

(JADE): :| 

(JADE): :/ 

(JADE): i think you have some issues 

JADE: no i dont 

(JADE): yes you do 

JADE: no i dont 

(JADE): yes you do 

JADE: no i DONT!! and thats that!!!! are you the adult here???? NO! 

JADE: im being useful and happy and cheerful for my friends 

(JADE): ok whatever you say!! huff 

(JADE): i dont feel like crying anymore 

(JADE): if you wanna talk about your issues 

JADE: i dont 

(JADE): then i guess we can just talk 

(JADE): not like theres anyone else here 

JADE: i guess 

The two of you sit for a while, silent against silence. You half-expect to start hearing things, but nothing comes. 

(JADE): so hows the future? 

JADE: oh its ok 

JADE: except i think jane wants to be fascist now? 

(JADE): WHAT 

**Author's Note:**

> still mad that the opportunity to give her good character development and stop using her just for plot was right there but it was fucked yet again. 
> 
> this is kinda self indulgent


End file.
